Squirrel Girl: Agent of SHIELD
by MandyTrekkie
Summary: Pre-MCU Phase One, Sequel to Recruitment Options: Doreen Green, as an agent of SHIELD! The ongoing adventures of one rodent-themed mutant and her no-nonsense handler, Mister Coulson. SHIELD, and the superhero community, will never know what hit them!


As irrational as it was, the blank sheet of paper was staring at her.

It was a normal, average, inanimate slice of tree pulp. Even in this wild and wonderful world she was finding herself thrust into, living paper still had not become a thing, for which she was kind of grateful. But still the first page of her empty notebook continued to lie there. Silently. Judging her for being so picky about her first stroke of ink.

She scowled back at it, chewed a bit more on the cap of her pen, and continued to debate in her mind how to start it off. Starting a journal of everything that had happened and was going to happen seemed like a good idea at the time. It was something that might help keep things in perspective, considering.

Of course, what good would it be if she couldn't even make up her mind on how to start...

The vehicle vibrated under her seat, it felt like a small bump. She tapped her foot on the metal flooring in time to the hum of hidden machinery. Her driver, eyes hidden behind reflective glasses, paid her no mind. She was alone with her thoughts. And paper. Still blank.

Well, that just wasn't going to work. She couldn't let this judgmental notebook win! If she lost a fight this early, then there was no hope for the future.

Determined, she put pen tip to paper and began to write;

_Dear diary,_

_Isn't that how these start? This is harder than it looks. I've never kept a diary or a journal or anything like this before, so I'm sorry if this sounds silly._

_I've really got a lot of things to tell you, but putting it all into words... Its kind of scary. Well, not 'scary' scary. Not like being chased by a mob with pitchforks kind of scary. A different kind of scary but still... um, scary. I don't know how to explain things and make it sound as exciting as it really was. Even though I don't plan on letting anyone read this. Ever. Just... it would be nice to read it someday and be like 'oh, I remember that! It was just like it was on the page!'_

_What am I even talking about?_

_Wow, that took up almost a whole page. Maybe I should write smaller._

_Anyway, I'm starting a new job today. That's good news. I'm excited, a little nervous, though. Its an important... um, 'company' I'm going to be working for. The people who hired me did promise on the job training but... I don't know if I made the right choice accepting it._

_Okay, truth time. This isn't an everyday job. This is big. Like, really big. Like Iron Man saving the day kind of big. And me? I'm just... _

_I'm not super smart, or super talented. I don't have a suit of armor and shoot lasers at bad guys. I'm just..._

"Miss Green? We're almost at our destination if you want to come take a look."

Doreen looked up from the notebook as the pilot motioned her forward. She tucked her book and pen safely within her messenger bag and stood from the seat, unfolding a bushy squirrel-like tail from where it had been tucked up like an extra cushion against the cold metal and stiff plastic.

It was only a few steps forward to the cockpit of the Quinjet, as the pilot called it. A crystal clear half sphere of glass opened before the control panel and provided an unobstructed view of the morning sky.

Ahead of them was something that looked like a sprawling military mega complex that was simply hanging in midair. Four massive turbines held it there, two on either side, and what looked like a control tower set on one side seemed to be the major feature as it rose over two aircraft runways. The sun was rising behind it, setting of beams of light that seemed to make any metallic surface on the flying craft sparkle and gleam.

Doreen gaped at the sight. It looked as if a giant invisible hand had lifted up a massive battleship from the ocean far below. "Is that...?"

"That's the Helicarrier, Miss Green. Not many people get to see it from this vantage point," the pilot answered with a smirk. "Welcome to SHIELD Mobile Headquarters."

After exchanging confirmation codes the Quinjet was deftly maneuvered over and beneath the massive Helicarrier until it hovered before a massive glass panel. Doreen watched in awe as the glass slid upward, and the pilot levered the thrusters forward into the open bay.

[_Re-pressurizing._] Red lights flashed on and of as a computerized voice announced as the bay doors sealed once again behind the SHIELD vehicle once it had landed. Vents hissed as oxygen pumped back in and the atmosphere inside was brought back to standard. A mechanical three tone chime then sounded.

[_Pressure normalized._]

Various crew came filing out from the corridors as the automated systems unlocked the doors. A handful began to secure the landed Quinjet as the boarding ramp descended. The pilot climbed out first then offered a hand back for his passenger. Doreen stepped out carefully while trying to take it all in. The docking bay was abuzz with activity as people in dark midnight blue uniforms performed various tasks.

At the bottom of the ramp the pilot released her hand and Doreen smiled, "Thank you. I haven't flown before now. It was actually not as bad as some people think."

"My pleasure, ma'am. Please remain here and someone will be by to collect you." The pilot nodded and gave her a salute before walking back underneath the cockpit. Doreen turned her eyes back to the main bay, unable to suppress a small smile. What little bit of nervousness she may have had seemed to dissolve. This was happening, she was going to become part of something bigger. She could make a difference. She would actually amount to something...

Her sensitive ears perked up as the sharp clack of dress shoes echoed amongst the clamor of activity in the hanger. Doreen looked around for the source as it grew closer, and she couldn't help but smile. He was easy to pick out with everyone else around in flight suits and jumpsuits. Just as composed and no-nonsense as he was when they first met, and that was under far more stressful conditions to say the least, the agent in the black suit came to a stop a few feet away.

"Welcome aboard, Junior Agent Green," Phil Coulson greeted. "Let's get started."

–

"First things first; Requisitions. You'll need a uniform while training, and are expected to wear it at all times while on duty unless otherwise instructed. Off duty you may wear what you like, but keep it low profile."

Doreen clutched the strap of her bag tightly and did her best to carefully listen to Mister Coulson's instructions as they weaved through the tight corridors within the Helicarrier. She had caught a few odd looks from other passing SHIELD agents as they walked but as soon as they spotted the agent leading her they kept moving. It didn't bother her all that much, odd looks became normal when you sported a three-foot furry tail.

They stopped in front of a door, where Coulson produced an identification card from his pocket and ran it through a reader. The door obediently slid open and he motioned for her to enter first. Doreen took a few steps in, triggering a door chime. Other than having the same steel blue color scheme as the rest of the ship, the interior resembled a clothing boutique.

Rows of well tailored black suits hung neatly next to dark navy uniforms of some kind with the SHIELD eagle logo. Dress shoes were lined up next to combat boots, all of them well polished. Three doors were along the back wall, Doreen guessed they were changing rooms, and there were even mirrors in one corner of the room.

A woman in an identical suit to the ones on the hangers stood off to one side at a computer terminal that bore a funny resemblance to a register at a service counter. She looked up as Mister Coulson came in behind and the door slid closed. The attendant nodded. "How's it going, Phil? You missed your last fitting appointment."

Doreen looked up at Mister Coulson and smiled. "Your name is Phil?" she asked quietly.

Coulson glanced back but declined to answer. "Its been a hectic few weeks, Manchez, but I'll be sure to reschedule when I get a moment to." He turned and waved a hand in Doreen's direction. "This is Miss Green, a new recruit. She'll be needing a standard field uniform for now."

The attendant smiled and came around the desk, grabbing a measuring tape and a notepad as she went. "Ah. Welcome aboard, miss, glad to have you. We'll just need a few measurements then we can get you settled. Could you just set your bag on the floor please?"

Doreen nodded as she pulled the strap over her head and gingerly lowered it to the floor, but as soon as her hold on it let go, the bag gave a little jolt, seemingly on its own. The attendant stopped in her tracks and stared. Coulson eyed the bag suspiciously, his hand moving to hover over his holster.

"Miss Green, what's in that bag?"

The messenger bag wriggled again and as if in answer to Agent Coulson's question a tiny, brown furred head poked out from the side. Its ears swiveled back and forth as it blinked its large round black eyes against the harshness of the artificial lighting.

Doreen groaned, "Oh, Joe, couldn't you just listen for once?" She dropped down on one knee next to the back and extended a hand. With a delighted squeak, a squirrel scurried out and up her arm and came to perch on her shoulder. It nuzzled its head against Doreen's neck affectionately as it chattered happily in her ear.

Coulson dropped his hand away from his gun now that the threat had passed. "I'm not sure if you were aware, Miss Green, but we have a strict 'No Pets' policy here on the Helicarrier. You shouldn't have brought it with you."

"Monkey Joe's not a pet, and I didn't bring him," Doreen countered as she stood.

"Uh... 'Monkey Joe'?" The attendant watched it with some equal measure of shock and confusion. This was far from her area of expertise.

"Well, that's what I call him, anyway. His given name is difficult to pronounce in English, so I shortened it," Doreen explained. The attendant nodded vaguely and said no more.

Coulson cleared his throat, "Back to the point... If you didn't bring it with you, Miss Green, then how did it get here?"

"Its... kind of a long story." Doreen ducked her head sheepishly. "Do you remember that night you asked me to join SHIELD?"

"I would be hard pressed to forget it," he raised an eyebrow skeptically but allowed her to continue.

"Before we left I went back to the edge of the forest, just to check on the squirrels that were there after you scared them. Monkey Joe here was the only one left around. He wanted to follow me, to make sure I would be all right, so I took him with me."

The squirrel cooed softly, and she reached up to give him a scratch behind the ears. "I did try to leave him in a park before I left. I guess he had other ideas..."

"And managed to sneak into your belongings and in one of the most secure locations in the country," Coulson finished for her. "Regardless, Miss Green, . Its a health and safety hazard."

Doreen's face fell. "But the park was all the way back in New York, and now we're... Somewhere flying in the sky..."

"At the moment, we're about fourty thousand feet above the Atlantic Ocean."

"See? We can't just drop him out into the ocean!"

"That isn't what I was suggesting," Coulson shook his head. "Perhaps we could find a containment unit large enough in a lab on board."

"I can't just send him off to a lab, Mister Coulson... He was only trying to make sure I was safe," The junior agent scooped up her fuzzy friend off her shoulder and held him in front of herself. "Couldn't he stay with me temporarily? He won't be any trouble."

"I don't think that would be for the best, for him or anyone else..."

"Please?" Doreen pleaded. "At least until we get back to the mainland and I can find him a new home?"

Agent Coulson closed his eyes and sighed in exasperation.

–

Doreen tugged the bottom of her new SHIELD tunic down as she followed Coulson down another corridor. It felt weird when she saw herself in the mirror; while the fabric was lightweight and flexible, it was also form fitting. Form fitting, as in showed every curve she didn't know she had. Ever since her mutant gene had activated, Doreen had opted to wear baggier clothing. It had made hiding her tail in general public a little bit easier.

Speaking of which, the Requisitions attendant had had a good amount of trouble processing the fact that her tail was actually attached to her body. A lot of people reacted that way, so it wasn't anything new. Luckily, there were staff on board with the skill set to sew well enough to make temporary modifications to a field uniform until they could have one more personalized ready to go. It was an odd qualification to have on record for an agency such as SHIELD, but Doreen supposed it did come in handy at times.

Monkey Joe gave a happy chirp as he scampered from one shoulder to the other while Doreen walked. She tried to shush him but it was too late, Coulson came to a halt. "Everything all right, Green?"

"Uh, fine. Everything's fine," Doreen answered quickly. Mister Coulson's expression was a little hard to read, she couldn't tell if he was still annoyed or not that they had a stowaway. She decided to change the subject and quickly before Joe got her into any more trouble. "So, where are we going now?"

"Research and Development," he answered and they continued walking. "You'll start basic weapon and combat training soon, but I've spoken with our top designers about working on something a little more specialized for your skill set."

Hearing this, Doreen couldn't help but smile. They were going to give her her own custom spy equipment? Now that was awesome. Excited and eager, she picked up her own pace until she was walking side-by-side with Mister Coulson.

Research and Development, it turned out, was more a reference to the staff assigned rather than one location of the ship. SHIELD's scientists had different laboratory space all over the Helicarrier, in almost every sort of scientific discipline Doreen could think of, and more she had never heard of.

She and Coulson stopped outside of a reinforced glass door with keypad entry.

"This is Doctor Henry Pym's lab," Coulson informed her as he once again slid his identification through the card reader. "He's one of our most brilliant minds, but can be a little... eccentric, especially when it comes to his own personal projects."

Doreen looked curiously through the glass. Inside she could see one lone scientist in a lab coat hunched over something on a workbench. "Then why does SHIELD employ him if he's only interested in his own stuff?"

"Don't get me wrong, Pym has many kinds of expertise and has come through for SHIELD in big ways, but he knows that without our funding his work in biochemistry and entomology would come to a halt." He entered the last digits of the security code and the door slid open. Coulson gave somewhat of a half-smile. "Plus we like to have this kind of genius close, where we can keep an eye on it."

The biochemist in question didn't even seem to notice the two new presence within his workspace. After an awkward moment of watching his back move slightly with each adjustment made to the equipment on the table, Mister Coulson cleared his throat.

"Doctor Pym..."

"I'll be with you in a sec," his response came out more of a grunt than a reply. He was entirely focused on what was going on beneath his microscope. "Just a little more... Its so close now..."

A buzzer went off next to Pym, causing him and Doreen to jump. Monkey Joe attempted to hide in Doreen's hair after being startled, while Coulson didn't even flinch.

Henry roughly pushed away from the table and swore under his breath. "I really almost had it that time..." He ran a gloved hand through his messy blond locks as he turned around, his light brown eyes rapidly blinked as he tried to focus on them. "Ah, Coulson. Hello. What can I do for you?"

"I just came by to introduce our new junior agent, Doreen Green. She'd like to see what kind of progress you've made." Mister Coulson stepped to the side to allow full view of Doreen.

Doreen, meanwhile, was trying to pry a frightened squirrel off her scalp. With gentle effort she managed to loosen Monkey Joe's tiny clawed grip on her hair. He screeched and scurried back down and into her bag, the result leaving massive clumps of her short brown hair sticking straight up.

Doctor Pym looked as if he was trying, and failing, not to laugh. "So this must be the 'Squirrel Girl', as it were." He stood and offered her a hand to shake, a smile softening any previous annoyance he had about his failed project. "Its a pleasure to finally meet you."

Doreen turned beet red, quickly clawing her hair back down into something acceptable before shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you too."

Pym inclined his head. "You've been quite the topic of conversation in our little scientific community. There hasn't been a mutant working here in SHIELD before. At least not one that openly admitted to being a mutant, but I'm pretty sure you're the first I've met personally."

"Oh, really?" Doreen perked up. "I thought there would be plenty of people with special abilities in SHIELD."

"Special abilities, yes, but no that was so... well expressed in their own genetics." The doctor looked thoughtful for a moment. "Say, once you're finished with your tour of the place maybe you could stop back by and allow me to take a blood sample? Maybe we could better document your mutant powers for research purposes-"

Coulson cleared his throat, again. "Perhaps another time, Pym. Now about your project for Miss Green..."

"Oh, fine... You can't blame me for trying, though," Henry chuckled. "Time to show off Project Acorn, then. This way."

Pym led them to the other side of the lab to a row of counters cluttered in all sorts of mechanical odds and ends. He selected a plain metallic box and placed it gingerly out front. As he lifted the lid, Doreen tried to lean around to see what was inside. Before she could steal a glance, Henry turned back around and tossed something into the air. "Catch!"

Doreen automatically reached out and wrapped her hand around the object while it was in the air. She held it up into the light and slowly uncurled her fingers, frowning at what she saw.

"Its... a metal acorn?" she tapped the tiny tapered ball with the end of a finger.

"Oh, its much more than that." Henry leaned casually against the counter top. "While I'm more than sure you'll be well versed in more 'traditional' methods of violence, this is more of a defensive and non-lethal arsenal. Each unit contains a highly visible flash bang grenade capable of stunning multiple targets, temporarily blinding and deafening them."

She almost dropped the acorn after hearing that. "Wow, all that in this little thing? How does it work?"

"A lot of work went into getting something so explosive into something so small, but sometimes size isn't everything," Henry smirked. "As for activating it, all you have to do is apply even pressure on the outside of the casing, such as squeezing it in your fist, then tossing it at the desired target. It'll go off within three seconds, so throw fast. Want to give it a shot?"

Doreen looked back down at the acorn/flash grenade then up to Mister Coulson, where he had observed the entire exchange silently. He shrugged and gave a curt nod. "Why not? If all of Pym's research goes up in flames, its his own fault," he answered dryly.

"Funny, Coulson. You're a riot machine." Pym went to the supply locker then passed around ear protection and safety goggles. He cleared a few parts and boxes from one corner of the laboratory and stepped back a safe distance. "You're all clear. Just remember, even pressure and you only have three seconds to get it out of the way."

"Three seconds, right." Doreen took a deep breath and held out her hand. She closed her fingers tightly around the acorn, feeling rather than hearing a small click, and taking that as her cue lobbed the thing into the empty corner. It bounced against the reinforced flooring twice before rolling to a stop, then-

BANG! *paf paf paf* SNAP!

The bright flash and popping subsided. Doreen pried her eyes open and looked at the scene. A small charred spot surrounded a small bit of twisted metal which was smoking. The smell of burning plastic filled the air.

Pym coughed from behind her after accidentally inhaling the smoke. "Not bad. A little more fine tuning might be in order. We want to disable them, not give them second hand smoke inhaliation." Even so, the scientist had a wide grin on his face. "What did you think?"

Doreen removed her ear plugs, even with them her ears were left ringing, but she had the same smile. "That... was pretty awesome."

"Thought so," Henry came around and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Even though we've just met, something tells me you're going to be great at this. Just remember us little guys when you get to the top."

–

After leaving Pym's laboratory, they found themselves in the Helicarrier's cafeteria. It was easily three stories high, even had an upper observatory and walkway around the edges. There were rows of little round tables off set from one another on both the upper and lower areas, and the back wall boasted an open galley. Opposite the kitchen and service lines were massive windows, allowing diners a stunning view of lazy clouds as they floated by. It was strangely peaceful.

Doreen speared some grilled chicken and greens from her salad while taking a quick peak across the table. Mister Coulson was sitting across from her with one of those Styrofoam coffee cups and gazing out the windows. Neither one had spoken since they sat down.

Doreen chewed thoughtfully for a moment, then swallowed when she decided to take the chance. "So... Can I call you Phil?"

He turned back to her. "Coulson will be fine."

"Oh. Okay."

Their silence resumed, only now Coulson seemed to be staring at her, assessing her. Doreen gulped but tried not to look away. Or, worse, let her nerves get the better of her.

"Pym's right," the senior agent spoke again after a long minute. Doreen put down her fork and looked curious.

"Right about what?"

"About you. About you having the potential to become a good agent. Maybe even a great one."

Doreen couldn't help but smile as she considered this. "Really? You think so?"

Coulson sighed deeply. "Director Fury thinks so, and he has what you would call a 'good judge of character.' I trust his judgment inexplicably," he leaned forward and put both hands on the table. "But, there are some things you're going to have to understand, Doreen.

"First, this isn't a game, this isn't a 'bad guy beat-em-up' and call it a day kind of thing. This is something that you're going to have to take seriously. SHIELD is a commitment, possibly a lifelong one, and the safety and well being of the public count on us to act responsibly at all times."

"Is... Is this about Moneky Joe?" she frowned.

"No," Coulson smirked. "We'll talk about that later, though.

"Second, there are going to be parts of this that you are not going to like. Our world isn't always black and white, and there will come a point where you will start to doubt. Yourself, SHIELD, what is right and what is wrong.

"I can't give you the answers, because I don't have them. That's something you will have to find on your own. All you can do is trust that we are the good guys in this, and in the end everything we do is for the greater benefit.

"If this is going to be a problem, you need to tell me now. You can still walk away from this."

Doreen's gaze fell to the table. She was quiet for a long moment as she processed all of this, weighing it against her own thoughts.

"I understand... but I'm not changing my mind, Mister Coulson," she looked back up at him. He said nothing, so she took that as a sign to continue.

"Look, I haven't had the best shot at life, I get that. Nobody chooses to be a mutant, to be judged and shunned for something you can't even control. I certainly didn't choose it, but I can choose what I do with it. That's why I'm here. If I can do something, anything, to make the world a better place, then that's what I want to do. SHIELD is somewhere where I feel like I can do that."

Doreen exhaled after her impromptu speech. It was like all her feelings coalesced into words and spilled out in what felt like one great inelegant mass, and it didn't help that Agent Coulson was still silently studying her.

After what passed as a tense moment, Coulson then stood from the table and brushed down the front of his suit. "Oh-six-hundred hours."

Doreen blinked. That wasn't the kind of response she had expected. "Wh- I'm sorry?"

"That's when your combat training starts," the senior agent explained. "We'll meet in Training Hall Five, bright and early. Oh, and by the way, Miss Green... Welcome to SHIELD."


End file.
